This sentence epitomizes a new approach I take towards life. The concept is not foreign, and probably is more of a cliche at this point. Here are similiar concepts you probably heard about already:
It was easy to dismiss this concept when I was younger. Most of my worries were more in the areas of beating bosses on Bloodborne with different builds [whirligig saw ftw], or reaching Legend rank in Hearthstone [cubelock abuser]. But as I've grown older, time seems to move faster than ever before. And with acceleration of time, worries about the future and regrets about the past were regular occurrences. These feelings often bogged down my mood and made me spiral into despair. So I decided to say F*ck it! It is what it is, I'll make the most of the present and that's all that matters in the end.
As an individual who struggles with self-forgiveness, this sentence enables me to let go of my shame and worries. It serves as a daily reminder for self-improvement in all facets of my life. By emphasizing is , was , and who knows while saying the sentence, I am letting go of the past and future to focus on the present.
It is easy to voice regrets about mistakes or failures of the past. I certainly do. There is nothing wrong with recognizing your own shortcomings. If anything, Regret is the greatest catalyst for growth. You know you've messed up, and you know what you should have done better. But by the same token, you are also lamenting the time lost in your prior ignorance.
For me, lamenting the time lost is intoxicating. It is, after all, an existential struggle against the perpetual motion of time. Time can only move forward, there is no stopping it. Grasping with something out of my control incites fear, confusion, and anxiety. Instead of taking the next steps to become a better version of myself, I am stuck looking back at my previous steps: the different paths I could have taken, analyzing what I could have done to get to where I am faster, obsessing over every minute detail. Soon enough, I become overly critical of my past self. Instead, what I should think is "Dang, I am capable of more, and I know how to do it", turn my head around, lift one leg forward, and take my first step forward. Therefore, by saying, "before was before", I am accepting my past as my own experiences that will shape me into becoming a better man.
Reflecting on the past is crucial to self-improvement. But reflecting shouldn't be all there is to it. Extract the shortcomings of the past as lessons that are applicaple in the present. After all, what happened in the past stays in the past, but in your next moments, you are in control of how you spend your time.
We are always so eager to know what the future has in store for us. This is evident in popularity of fortune telling, and in more modern times, model predictions. I believe the reason is, once again, our existential struggle against time. If time can only move forward, then naturally, we want to be better prepared for when the future comes. Be it an investment opportunity, a new trend, or the next Covid-19. But we should also take into account the best way to be prepared is focus on the now.
In the last years of studying software engineering, one thing I've come to realize extraordinary software projects are born out of a necessity of the now. The original Linux [or GNU/Linux] kernel was born out Linus Torvalds' frustration with licensing of Minix, a UNIX-like Operating system. Furthermore, Torvalds stated the kernel was a hobby project. There were no lofty goals of Linux being in virtually every aspects of technology. Because quite frankly, how would Torvald, or anyone in his shoe, have known? The same can be said for Git, which is a versioning tool most software engineers are familiar with. This tool spawned from a disagreement between the Linux Kernel maintainers and the company that owned Bitkeeper, the original tool used by the maintainers. So Torvalds and the Linux Kernel developers went ahead and made their own versioning tool for their project: Git. Fast forward today, Git is the most popular version control tool used, with Git hosting services effectively being the go-to places to view code projects. Again, who would have predicted that tool would be used by the majority of the computing world? There are many more instances in which the project's scope has long outgrown the original intent.
Look for opportunities in the current to improve the status quo. There is no use in trying to wrangle with what's on the horizon tomorrow. The future is merely a byproduct of what we do in the now.
When time passes, it feels as if I have lost something I can never get back. That is the reality of life, no amount of wealth or power can bring back the seconds I spent typing this sentence out. But at the same time, I am invigorated with new time. What I choose to do in the next seconds is up to me. I can add a smiley face like this :) to my sentence. I can spel wordds incorrrectly. I can even not write.
The point is, I am in control of how I spend the now . Every second, a new opportunity to be healthier, to be more disciplined, to make progress on a problem. Take action, or don't. Listen to what my mind, body and soul are trying to tell me, and simply do.
The present is the only time we have control over.
Then at some point, the present will be the past. We have influenced our past.
And at the same time, the future will be the present. We can deal with whatever future brings in the present.
We are in control of our lives through the now.
I was journaling at the library to clear out a lethargic feeling I felt all morning. On that particular day, I felt this sense of urgency in needing to "have it all figured out". I felt inadequate from comparing myself to a more idealistic version of myself. The feeling was demoralizing. Then the midst of journaling, I had grown extrodinarily drowsy. I had closed my eyes before I realized and napped. When I woke up, two things popped into my mind.
So yeah, all it took was one good nap for a moment of clarity.